5 Things You Lose By Playing The Blame Game

“A blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”  Wayne Dyer

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We live in a world where we find it easy and convenient to pass the buck whenever things go wrong. We shelve responsibility and pass the blame to others when things don’t go according to plan; and then take the credit when things turn out well. The downside to this kind of approach to life is that we lose the opportunity to truly discover ourselves. Why is blaming others not good for us?

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YOU LOSE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP YOURSELF

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past and getting on with their lives.  J. Michael Straczynski

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When you form the habit of always blaming others, you take the searchlight away from yourself. You lose the chance to develop, to discover what is not working in you and thereby forfeit the opportunity to become better. You live under the illusion that you are doing just well and have no need for improvement. When you blame, you give your power away. You make yourself little and shut out the opportunity to grow. When you blame others, you are excusing yourself and denying yourself a chance to become better.

YOU LOSE THE POWER TO CHANGE

Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on others.  Your life can only change to the degree you take responsibility for it. Dr. Steve Maraboli.

No matter what you might be going through today, look inwards. Perhaps you might be struggling with your finances, your health, marriage or relationships. Instead of looking at the other person or the economy, or your colleagues, manager, the weather or government or even a political party, ask yourself what you have done or failed to do which contributed to the problem. If you don’t change, nothing changes. So, seek to become the change you are looking for.

YOU LOSE THE ABILITY TO LEAD

Leaders take all the blame and give away all the credit. Unknown

If you desire to be a leader in any field of endeavor, this is one quality you must imbibe. When you point fingers, you sometimes lose credibility and respect. There is nothing wrong in being wrong or in making mistakes. What is important is the lesson we learn from the experience. Learning to take responsibility when you are wrong is a sign of maturity and leadership. You are also being human, and people will respect you for that.

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YOU LOSE THE CHANCE TO LEARN

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past and getting on with their lives.  J. Michael Straczynski

Blaming others simply keeps you in state of denial, where you consciously or unconsciously avoid some truths about yourself. You must understand that failure is a better teacher than success. When Thomas Edison was asked why he persisted despite having failed over a thousand times to find a solution to the light bulb invention, he simply said that he learned a thousand ways not to invent the electric bulb. What a perspective we all must adapt. Give yourself a chance to learn; admit failure where necessary and see how that can transform your life. If you pass the blame to others, you deny yourself a chance to learn. You don’t find the cause of the problem and there will be no real improvement.

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YOU LOSE THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS

Stop blaming others for your troubles. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams, depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When blame others for what you are going through, you deny responsibility, you give others power over that part of your life.  Unknown

Sometimes we blame people for disappointing us, rather than deal with ourselves for expecting too much from them. Nobody ever achieved anything worthwhile by looking backwards or pointing fingers. Every great feat was achieved by men who set their faces like a flint and didn’t allow anything, or anyone deter them.

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