The word enemy connotes negativity. We detest and abhor it. We will do almost anything and everything to get rid of it and where a human being is involved, we want to avoid them and be very far away as much as we can. But what if this enemy lives with you perpetually and you have no way of getting rid of him or her? Will you choose to die instead?
As a young boy, I could easily identify those I regarded as my enemies whether it was at school or at the playground. They were cruel, wicked, unforgiving, selfish and vengeful. I never wasted any opportunity I had to deal decisively with them. They didn’t deserve any pity and should not be shown love at all. So why spare them? Why care or show concern for them? In some cases, some of these enemies where not tangible, physical beings but external or environmental factors. They were things that I wished I never had to encounter in my life but nature inadvertently brought them my way.
Lack of resources – be it money or time. Not having the right connections or lack of luck. A bad boss, poor economy or government. The wrong ruling political party. Being born into the wrong family or coming from a disadvantaged background or country. Not having the “right connections” or not having a godfather or the perfect manager. Past painful experiences, people’s actions, lack of job opportunities and everything you touch or do going wrong and not according to your expectations.
Several years back, if you asked me the reasons why I wasn’t doing well, I could easily reel out the above enemies and a lot more. I had a laundry list of reasons why things weren’t working for me and why it was working for others. All these were perfect excuses I readily dished out to anyone who cared to ask. The sad part? The more I focused on these, the worse things became, and the more helpless I became. Along the line, I met my Mentor and several other mentors coupled with a series of other life changing experiences I had thereafter. Afterward, my life began to take a new meaning. I discovered my purpose and I have been on this journey for some time now. I don’t intend to stop because there is a life of endless possibilities and impact that I can see ahead of me. The same can happen to anyone reading this blog right now.
Recommended for reading: Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
If someone had told me years ago that I could do the things I’m doing today, I would have labelled him or her a false prophet. Have I reached my ultimate goal? No. But I am sure making progress day after day. It is a journey of self discovery, of a life driven by purpose and love. It is filled with twists, turns, valleys and mountains. In all, I’ll say it is an exciting experience learning that you actually can have more of whatever you desire in life, only by becoming more. Yes, you read it right: you can have more by becoming more. The focus is on you! If you want to change the world, start by changing you. When you change, things will begin to change for you. Say for example, you have someone in your life who is a source of pain to you. Every time you remember or see this person, your mood changes from a positive to a negative one. You frown, take a different route or just walk past briskly, avoiding any eye or physical contact. To you this person represents pain and everything negative. However, at the same time, in this same planet, there is someone else who sees this same “enemy” of yours as the best thing that has ever happened to them. Their world practically revolves around this person. You might want to put the blame on this person and what he or she does to you as the reason why you act in a negative way towards him or her. In the past, I would have agreed with you, until I listen to Wayne Dyer a while back and that changed my view.
Wayne used the analogy of an orange and I’ll try to rephrase it in my own words. In our planet, anytime you squeeze an object, what comes out of it is what’s inside. So supposing you squeeze an orange, you can only get an orange juice. It doesn’t matter how you squeeze, who squeezes it, when or where you squeeze it. The only thing that comes out is an orange juice. If you agree with that philosophy, now lets look at you. Whenever someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you or try to provoke you, what comes out of you? Anger, rage, fear, tension, or love, empathy and compassion? Do you let people bring you down to their level? Anytime you get angry as a result of what someone says about you, the simple interpretation is that you consider their opinion more important than what you think about yourself, or what God says about you. Why do you want to give someone that kind of power over you? Its time to take that power back. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we sure can control what how we respond to it. Same is true for life. Two people go through the same situation, one comes out better and another bitter. Why? The choices they made, their perception of the situation and how they chose to deal with it.
- Take responsibility for your life going forward
- See everything that happens to you as a result of your thinking and what you are attracting to yourself
- Look inwards and realize that your perception defines your reality
- Decide from now to expect nothing but the best from yourself.
- Give up the blame game
- Stop looking for the answers outside, search within you will be amazed at the untapped treasures that lie inside of you
- Harness your power of choice. Know that you have the power to decide how you respond to what happens to you
- Let go of the victim mentality. You are not a victim of circumstance. You are more than enough to confront everything and anything that comes your way
- Begin to see yourself getting better everyday
- Stop wishing for less problems but more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges but more wisdom.